new year

Soo

2010 is almost at a close.

Things to do next year:

draw more

write more

make more money, seriously, I'm tired of scraping by

Learn a song for memory on my guitar.

animate something awesome. maybe learn to make a game in flash. maybe. Kinda miss animation though it takes a lot of time and pain

Things I'm looking forward to

Trip to Hawaii and seeing my friend Dosh's wedding

Getting scuba certified. It will be done

spend more time with friends in the real world.

Go to Poland to a. visit my granduncle's grave so I can say my final goodbye. and b. visit my cousin and the new baby.

Big goal:

Get an illustration published.

IDEAS ARE BULLETPROOF.

IDEAS ARE BULLETPROOF.
Originally uploaded by ZOMBIEHIPP

Today's the 5th of november.

Running

I ran to work this morning - from the train station to my office. Well, almost the whole way which is pretty impressive to me. I've finally ran in my new sneakers!

goal

I have two goals in mind.

One is artistic, the other is just to see if I can do it.

1. I will get an illustration published where a lot of people will see it (and get paid for it).

2. I will run a mile.

The first is a goal that I will have to work on by drawing quite a few fully realized illustrations, in my style. I'm thinking this will take at least 10 drawings of which maybe one will be something I consider good. If I do 10 drawings a month - that would be, what three a week? But I don't want to focus on finishing them quickly, I need to find my style and really work on the art. I seem to like to start a drawing or painting and finish it quickly. Ok so maybe I"ll have to do a bunch of small drawings weekly, and focus on the big one in pieces. I may need some guidance.

The second goal - well that one is the hardest in my mind, for a number of reasons. I'm not unhealthy (in my opinion). I can do lots of cardio. I walk for miles on end, you won't hear a peep from me. But I absolutely hate running. And I somehow lose track of breathing when I do run so I make it maybe 2 1/2 city blocks before my beet-red face has to stop to gasp for air.

So why do it? Because I think I can't. I have never managed to run a full mile - and that includes during basketball conditioning with an old drill Sargent drilling me the whole mile on the subject. I would always have to stop and catch my breath. We did a "fun" run in grade school that involved racing around the school and gym, every year, at the end of the year. I never made it. I did enjoy the orange slices they gave us and made frequent stops at the water stations. But I never ran the whole time. I was also a last-place finisher in the 100 meter dash in middle school. I'm a shorter than 100 meter dash burst of running kinda gal I guess. But I don't want to be limited by what I've been in the past. I want to be able to finally have run a mile. I'll have to start by seeing if I can run around my own block...

best of the 4th

tennis in the noon heat

cold black cherry soda

cool shower after

a WHOLE pint of chocolate ice cream

corn on the cob and grilled bratwurst

watching fireworks from the 11th floor

Saturday

PMS sure can make me cranky!

Things I'm not allowed to say

Sometimes I step away when someone's talking to me. I retreat somewhere inside. I'm not listening. Then hours later, as I'm walking around, staring at the bright city skyline, I think of the cruelty of life. That eventually, you're really not allowed to be yourself. You have to step into a role to do what needs to be done and hide yourself away inside that persona. Or you will perish. So to that my inner-self says Fuck You.

Even though it's not a word I'm allowed to say.

Day 181: Custom furniture coming to a tour stop near you!

Day 181: Custom furniture coming to a tour stop near you!
Originally uploaded by Threadless 365

Now why haven't I done this before???

Dinner

I made french onion soup from scratch today. And I thanked my parents for my food processor. BEST GIFT EVER. It's also the first time I've ever made french onion soup. I do it completely veggie - I'm not fond of beef broth. It's yummy. I also made a fab whole wheat and shrimp red curry and paired it with a glass of white wine. To make it more bohemian I'm eating in my bed using a cookie sheet as a serving tray.

I have two drawings to do that are stuck in my head. There's a story behind them, but the images need to be laid out first. I sketched one, but I'm thinking of working it out on my nice watercolor paper that is soo nice I'm afraid to use it. I just gotta bite the bullet!

mmm back to my soup.

iphone or backflip?

I found out yesterday, when I took my dad out for the evening, that I can now switch to a real cellphone. I've been living off a best buy phone - one of those go-phones - for the last few months when my cell phone died unexpectedly. For MONTHS I've been wanting an iphone, but haven't been able to switch. But then my dad did a "sell" on me for the phone my brother has - the Motorola Backflip. Now, I'm a total sucker for marketing and the iphone 4 video just makes it look awesome. Sold. But then there's the fact my brother researches things quite well and I trust his opinions on any tech stuff. Basically, if he were to tell me that the iphone is crap and I should buy this phone, I'd just do it. Forget research, just listen to Pete. Anywho, so since softball is canceled due to flooded fields, I'm "researching". yea.

a play

I saw a play today I've never seen before

And it spun ideas in my head and made me laugh and smile

It was wonderful and I needed some happy in my day

it was disconcerning seeing my name listed along with Dali and Matisse but I must admit there was a bit of a thrill in it too

I saw the most beautiful sunset of my life so far

silhouetted against the bursting-with-color backdrop was a slice of a building and the remains of lightning scattering in the background

but it was lonely after being in a room full of people

I hate it when the way I talk annoys people. I somehow inadvertently irritate some people by the way I try to present my way of thinking. I really gotta quit talking about my childhood and past experiences when it comes to why I think or feel a certain way. From now on I'm a closed door.

Catch-22

So what would we call it, if Catch-22 was never written? I don't really recall, thinking about it for ten minutes, what exactly Catch-22 was about. I'm kinda stuck in a few of them at the moment, as if you could square a Catch-22.

I got my insurance card today. Plain and white, no cowgirl decoration or hot pink and yellow color scheme (Thanks Illinois for driving my healthcare provider away.) So not only did I get a plain-jane white card today, its so cheaply made that the member services phone number was printed incorrectly on it. It's quite odd that it's not written anywhere else on the card, probably to force me to call the only other number on the line for customers - the mental health/substance abuse coverage line! Oh wait, couple of lines later, in the legalese of the back of the card it mentions to call 911 in an emergency. Who lists a mental health/substance abuse number so close to the emergency number? I'd like to think it's some twisted little copywriter, who writes novels in his spare time, and is waiting for his break, but in the mean time he wreaks havoc on the phone lines with junkies and mental patients calling the wrong numbers.

Frustration mounts when I try to create a registration online, and after several tries and using different browsers, I break down and call the hotline. I'm on hold for a while, but it's something I'm used to because of the work I do. I speak to a representative who walks me through the new registration process - and who finds out he can't help. Apparently there's a one-digit typo on my zip code...it should be an 8 and its a 6. Unfortunately, he can't help me personally with this, I have to talk to member services. He gives me the number and transfers me. Approximately 2 rings in, I get yelled at by a robot.

I hate robot telephone servos. (I'm sure if the guy who wrote the Jetsons actually got suck on hold with one of these, Rosie would have been a very different house robot. Heck the whole Jetson's future would be different.) Anyway, after a few minutes of vocalized frustration and periods of exacting pronunciation, the robot says one of my choices is "speak to a representative". My hope goes up (don't know why I always have hope but I do), and the new voice tells me (also a robot) that the member services department is now closed. And they give me the daytime office hours, thank you call again!! Le sigh.

It feels good to vent online.

But I still don't have access to my heath insurance stuff, like setting up billing. great. And inevitably, I will have to go through all those calls again. I think my main frustration is the wasted time and having to sit on the phone, on hold, and then holding again and not even getting the courtesy of human service.

All over one typo.

:(

I'm frustrated.

so I sketched.

and now I should relax and sleep.

goodnight.

weekday

My dad turns 57 tomorrow. I just realized in 10 years I'll be fourty, which is amazing. I think I'm still processing that one. And in 20 years I'll be fifty, and add 7 to that and I'll be 57 too. My brother turns 27 this year. The difference between my dad's an my age is the length of my brothers entire life so far. That makes 57 seem much further away. lol. I wish I had remembered my camera today.

I found a shop that I MUST visit at some point. Seems handmade and artsy and they carry my favorite magazine that I've only been able to look at online - Uppercase. The store just opened on the 15th - it's called Orange Beautiful. Check out their blog: http://www.orangebeautiful.com/blog/

I'm not sure what's going on in my life at the moment. It's like being a fiber on a sponge, and the sponge is sitting in water. The bottom of the sponge is soaking wet while the top is unaware of the impending changes. I know something's going on, but not sure how it will effect me. And I'm not aware of WHAT it is, but I have a feeling that there's something changing. Like leaves suddenly opening on trees in the early spring. Its a feeling of impending-ness I guess. I can feel it.

Toy Story 3

I saw a screening of Toy Story 3 yesterday, a special fundraiser screening for the Komer Children's Hospital. I really can't say anything due to a non-disclosure agreement. And I wouldnt' want to spoil it for ya anyway! It was a GREAT movie. They went all out for the screening - got popcorn, pop, twizzlers and rasinets as we were waiting for it to start. Then at the end they had goodiebags full of toy story stuff and toy story 3 posters. I got my program signed by the director and producer. They really went all out and it was the perfect way to see this movie. Cause it's going to get at you.

As for the movie - the story was great, I was bawling by the end. You'll see. There's also a LOT to laugh at, and they keep it coming during the movie. I was awed by the animation. I specifically loved the animation of Buzz Lightyear - and I can't really talk about details because that would give away some fun details to the story - but it was beautiful, very smoothly done and I was impressed.

Unworthy

Its posts like these that make me feel mundane and normal to the point of doldrums. Sasha Barr is a genious inventor of art and design. I could never reach levels of coolness like this. Heck I couldn't even get near that kinda cool kids table during lunch.

Check out the interview and art and studio/living space photos here at Grain Edit. Seriously cool.

http://grainedit.com/2010/05/04/sasha-barr-interview/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed:+GrainEdit+(Grain+Edit)

Summer and Spring

Everything is finishing blooming, and one of my favorite noises - leaves on trees blowing around in the breeze - is back again. Not everything is going perfect in life, like usual, but I look at the happy little things. I'm excited about lily's of the valley blooming and the last few tulips popped open and sprawling their colors among the bright green grass blades in all the neighborhood garden patches. This time of year always makes me want to plant my own pots of flowers - since I lack a garden of my own, a teeny little pot of basil sprouts are slowly outgrowing their space on my windowsill. I'll get a larger pot for them soon so I can have fresh pasta in my spaghetti over the summer. Or maybe a fresh capresi salad.

Madge cat isn't feeling too well these days. She got shots yesterday and is quite grumpy and listless today. I found her sleeping in my sock-in-undies basket in my closet tonight. Such a funny but probably comfortable place to sleep for such a small cat. Once she's well we get to prepare her for tooth surgery which is REALLY costly and sadly infringing on my eating. There's really not that much good food available on the cheap, especially since I like fresh foods vs. fast.

Tonight I prepared a recipe from a new blog i found. I had all the ingredients on hand, and after I made my home-made pasta sauce I cracked out the kitchen aid and baked a cake. Its quite tasty. The best part is the cake has a silly name and a cute story. Check out the website - Smitten Kitchen - for the story and the recipe: http://smittenkitchen.com/2009/07/blueberry-boy-bait/

Casey Bats Again

I decided to look up this short after getting a link listing for purchase some original Fred Moore sketches from this animation. I'm familiar with the original Casey at the Bat short, but NEVER saw Casey Bats Again. I as a softball player, and a girl, LOVE this short.

midnight snack

I was asleep, but I woke up not an hour ago with my heart racing and my mind awake and wandering. I thought it's supposed to do that while dreaming. sigh.

Cool canadian artist's ceramic solutions to broken sidewalks:

http://www.canadiandesignresource.ca/officialgallery/ceramics/curb-works/

Roger Ebert just posted this on twitter, and it's kinda cool. It reminds me of Close Encounters:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jr_qRuTyts&feature=player_embedded

Quick rant:

Uprinting.com's customer service SUCKS. Don't waste your time with them.

Carnivale: Pretty good, but not what I would say was fantastic. I enjoyed the company at dinner, hard to believe I've almost been working full time for a month. It feels much longer.

Chicago Hospital Emergency Rooms: Take too long.

Grossest moment of the week: Co-worker sliced her foot open. I thought I was squeamish, but it turns out I'm able to turn on "take care of the situation" mode and not have feelings about it during emergencies. Had her ready to go to the hospital for stitches in moments. She got 6. Made me think maybe I should have been a doctor or nurse. Too late!

Random comments:

I am sick of people telling me I'd be a good teacher. What about looking at me says "Teacher"???

wode is me

poetry strings along in my head when I'm walking these days.

I write more when I'm in my winter blues mode. Tho at the present I don't actually do any writing that makes it down to paper or type. The urge to document it doesn't quite last, or I feel silly to post it by the time I can. The diagnosis of winter blues is completely self-made. This is probably training from my delightfully unique mother who I've yet to write into a play of some sorts. My whole immediate family is quite quirky and while stringing along poetry, adding music to it, and contemplating my existence, i also wonder if I'd ever brave trying to sketch them on paper in a narrative of sorts. It would capture the essence of the family for future reference when i'm missing them. Might even amuse others.

I used to write quite well, during college there was talk about publishing my short stories in some compendium at the end of the semester, along with other English department submissions, but I never followed through with it. I have stacks of journals and sketchbooks I could write in - yet something holds me back. Can you imagine that? Stacks of half-filled journals strewn about. I finally got a side cabinet to hold most of them. I've been feeling a tiredness that seems pretty deep lately. Daffodils may be blooming, but nothing seems to get through the gloomy coldness I'm feeling at times these last few weeks.

I've taken a break from facebook, but like any addict I find it difficult to not check on. I also have cut down on texting my boyfriend, after he commented that I texted him too much. I'm of the mind that there is never too much texting, but I am probably wrong. So I've almost completely stopped. This task is even more difficult than the last. I don't know how to not communicate instantaneously. If I must wait to emote, the urge goes away, but there's a feeling of loss associated with the lack of communication of something I felt was important to convey at the time. I find I've been twittering more and buzzing a bit (these words don't seem like real verbs). This could easily become a similar problem as facebook though, and I fear I'll have to stop completely or suffer finding myself constantly checking to see what anyone has said so I can participate and feel like I'm part of something. The problem may lie in that in the last few months I found I don't actually talk to anyone in person outside of work or on occasion, with my roommates. I constantly crave communication with others and never learned to curb my need to comment. I find I need social interaction of some sort, and I feel alone much of the time, even though I'm not (alone).

The other day I was wandering a relatively new area of town for me, Bucktown. I've always equated it as hipster central. There's an eclectic mix of posh boutique and chain stores, interspersed with artists of modern form. I felt very out of place, but also intrigued by the varied quilt this neighborhood seemed to be patched together from. There were signs of the old stores, like the car repair shop hold-over that stood out of the block like a "what doesn't belong" problem from elementary school. I found a soup shop, where I got a fancy version of grilled cheese, and even fancier soup options, at somewhat fancy-shop prices. The day was grey and soggy, and me being cold as usual, needed something to warm me up. I went with the fancy-shop price and warmed up my extremities in a room full of neck-scarf and corduroy wearing gentlemen with jaunty caps, MAC books, and heavy conversations discussing projects undetermined. I fancy that these people live in lofts with CB2 furnishings, listen to music I've never heard of, and went to Universities with majors in English with a side of MBA. Its like going to a different country and learning about the local ways of life. I could be wrong.

http://hipsterpuppies.tumblr.com/

wednesday happy thoughts

1. Little boy smiled at me when I was walking to work

2. I kept my cool during a medical emergency at work

3. I finished watching Long Way Down

4. I saw a cool stencil on the way to the train station

5. the daffodils in front of the house are blooming

things I need

1. hugs

2. people to listen to me sometimes

3. a good cup of coffee

4. hangout time with friends

I've been having a bit of a ride on the mood-swing train in the last week an a half. I've also decided to stop facebooking almost entirely because I've had too many people point out I'm on there all the time which is embarassing. I'm going to be reading and watching netflix a lot. I've also realized I haven't been doing art for the sake of doing art anymore so I'm going to try to rectify that situation slowly cause I don't really feel like drawing or painting. I like the idea but I don't really know why but it's not enjoyable to me at the moment. Spring is here and I should be getting in a better mood soon, but this particular time of year is always really hard for me.

Passing of days

I once spent an entire afternoon making gnocci from scratch, at the neighbors house. This was back when I lived at home during college. I used to go lots of places to learn to cook and spend some time doing something other than commuting and being in school.

Knead the warm dough, cut the batch into quarters, and then spend time rolling it out into snakes. There might have been a blessing over them at that point. Then cut it, then running small bits over a mysterious wooden board that had little slats cut into it to make the marks in the gnocci that catch the sauce better. The kitchen was dark and filled with the sounds of women working, and sauce simmering on the stove. Over an over, roll, cut, pattern, and put to the side. We must have made hundreds of them. Grandma was overseeing from her chair. A slab of butter melted in a pan, and then a wedge of bony beef was seared in it, fat and juice sizzling down its sides as each one was browned, releasing the wonderful scent of spiced meat. Then it went into the giant sauce pot on the stove. Then came the boiling of the gnocci bits. One batch after another until they were all gone. Then it was time to eat them, drowned in sauce with a few slices of the beef on top. Hunger pangs were worth the wait as they were quelled quite quickly by the serving I received.

Now two of the people who were in that kitchen are all that's left, well, almost. Lena was diagnosed with pulminory fibrosis of the lungs this weekend. She's unconscious at the moment, in fact she spent her birthday last week unconscious with all her grandchildren around her. I've only heard from scattered phone calls from my mother and her daughter-in-law who also happens to be an old high school friend. She goes off the ventilator tomorrow from what I've been told, at which point, she will most likely pass away.

I will miss her and her wonderful southern italian accent and will always remember her when I make gnocci.

The passing of days hasn't gotten easier as I reach my 30 year mark, just more bittersweet as every year I loose more friends and colleagues. I'm trying to focus on the happy memories, but they make my few hours to myself quite melancholy, remembering people who are gone, of which quite a few have left in the last few months. This one was much closer than the recent deaths I've encountered, so I'm not sure how I'll deal with the emotion of it.

Orchid show

Week two of my new job has gotten off to quite a start. We had some rush order problems that occurred that we didn't know were happening until I made a call to see if a shipment had gone out.

Friday I took some pictures of things I see.

I went to the orchid show with my parents this weekend, lovely show it is for taking photos of exotic flowers. Everything is in full bloom and in such a myriad of colors! We went to Orchids by Hausermann. You can see more of my orchid photos on my flickr page.

gypsy life

This first week of work has been quite busy - perfect for me since I don't like to be bored, and I like thinking and doing productive things. All this work has got me thinking of the last few weeks of freedom I had.

I've been traveling quite a few places the last few weekends in a row - The foothills of Orange County, the city of Milwaukee, and the Mayan coast of Mexico. This is my first weekend in a few where I don't have to leave the city. I am taking a trip to an orchid house to take photos and trade off some souvenirs from Mexico with my family. I have many tales to tell of dancing on the shores under moonlight, bartering and almost getting stranded on the island de las mujeres, swimming with dolphins and sharks, flying in a swing attached to a spinnacker, and my first time on a jetskii. There's plenty of video and photo documentation of this as well. What's funny is that I'm not tired of traveling. If I could get on a plane or train, I'd be up for a week of camping, or trekking through forests, or yet again swimming in the ocean. My braids from the plaza are just about wearing out but I'm not giving them up yet, because they're whats left of my vacation other than my summer-like tan. I'm glad to have finished with the mosquito bites and rash from sun exposure - at least that's what I believe caused the rash on my collarbone and neck area, which thankfully was limited to that region as well. The sun seems to have warmed up this far north since I left - the days appear longer as well with the sun rising so early. I can't wait for spring! I got daffodils at the grocery yesterday just to make up for the lack of color here. I miss being away.

But for now I sit in my own bed, munching on freshly baked bread that my roommates kindly made, and contemplating winding down for the evening. We watched most of "Long Way Down" a fabulous series about Ewen McGregor and his friend Scott and a team of guys traveling from the tip-top of Scotland to the bottommost portion of Africa, Cape Town. It's a well made documentary.

Patricia Zohn on Walt Disney Animators Culture: vanityfair.com

Just back from Mexico - quick little link since I'm now working full time again:

Patricia Zohn on Walt Disney Animators Culture: vanityfair.com

late night ramblings

I'm Back from a day trip to Milwaukee where I salsa danced with a young Edwardo, chatted up his father Gerardo or "jerry", who served as the bartender for the evening, and learned what a modified paloma is. The mom served the peking duck and danced and laughed with me much of the evening. I apparently look nice, have a nice voice, and a nice smile. Guess I'm all over nice. Sometimes we nice girls get sick of being called "nice". The dj called me a tiger when I was learning to salsa from the 10 year-old Edwardo, the only person in the room that was available to dance with other than the priest. I joined in on the garter toss with the guys since most of the attendees were elderly or uninterested in participating. It was a quirky wedding for a perfect for each-other couple, and my friend didn't mind. We were surrounded by lanterns and wearing clothes from China-town and celebrating my friend's renewal of wedding vows. My friend's have been married for a week. Can't say the day hasn't been interesting, though it felt like being tossed into a melting pot of cultures and I was part of the show.

Renewal of vows- This kind of celebration is usually held around 25 or 50 years of marriage, isn't it? And then I thought, wow. I've only been alive for that long, pretty much, and I can't imagine re-living my life again. That's a lot of living and things to keep track of.

I'm leaving for Mexico, warm and sunny, where I plan to imbibe alcohol everyday and do nothing much except enjoy the sand and ocean. I've secretly always wanted to have a cabana boy bring me drinks while i do nothing. Doing nothing is really hard for me. I may be persuaded to swim with dolphins, or be flung through the jungle on a zipline, maybe snorkel. Being environmentally and socially conscious I'm a bit wary of making dolphins drag me around a pool or disturb the jungle as I fly by at whatever speed you zipline in the treetops. But there's a part of me that really just wants to hug the wet-rubber like surface and squeel with joy when for a moment I'll feel a fraction like a mermaid catching a ride on the back of her dolphin friend.

the exotic

My red orchid bloomed while I was in California. I love how bright the colors are!

I watched a documentary this morning while eating my breakfast - it's called Food Inc. Lovely documentary, I would recommend it. It also got me to a site called Open Congress AND Take Part, which I'll look into more when i have time. Oddly enough, Walmart is now helping small farmers - which is great. Check out this article: http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/201003/walmart-local-produce

I've also recently, through twitter, become a reader of Roger Ebert's column. Being a Chicagoan and consistenly running into Ebert I probably should have started reading him earlier, originally thinking he's ONLY a movie reviewer. But I only started reading him since I clicked his twitter link. He posts on twitter frequently, and is a great writer. There's an excellent article about him in Esquire that you should look up. Most people are familiar with him and his movie reviews. I think his articles, which don't necessarily talk of movies, are much more interesting. He's a true journalist! http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/2010/01/making_out_is_its_own_reward.html

Off to my friend's wedding party in Milwaukee now. Wedding: Redux I'm calling it. I get to wear oriental clothing to "surprise" everyone else because my friend kinda conned me into it. Oh well!

sometimes

Sometimes I'm glad the internet didn't exist before

Otherwise i might never have met you

Or most of my friends

And other friends wouldn't have met their you's

Kept in my shell I would worry about the paperwork

the evidence would have brought down a forest

There would have been stacks of paper notes tied in ribbons and perfumed with curley-cue script and poetry verses and proclamations, pressed flowers, sketches

mortifying piles of frilliness and girlyness that I wouldn't have dared to send you,

kept in a secret box as memories of my youth, flippant girlish hopes of romance burned by

trained belief that tis' better to have spent time in study and productiveness

hope was for the other girls, not me

It took One to break down years

of prohibitions and strictures set by them and self

broken in a glance

took a weekend chance

and then We were

What's boredom to filling it in with busyiness for the sake of doing something?

Pining away one pandora song, twitter post, and facebook update at a time

trying to seem less lost in my unexpected circumstance and pretended contentment with acquired time to myself

But now that I've had so many busy friday nights

being without the Other for one makes the time tick by slower than it used to

who is this girl?

hanging on each text message and phone call

this is life's breath to my happyness

Weakened and strengthened

Changed in the fire of love

in plural terms on paths never imagined or dared to be dreamt

and hopeful yet secret for fear of curse

I will not utter or attempt to cross hope with fate

the dark cloud of possibility is a burden

that I will carry until futures unfold and are woven into the fabric of history

maybe I'll laugh when I look back from where I'll be

or memories may be piqued with a sour sweetness

picked apart, sucked dry

as I lay down my tired head at last, old and grey

clinging to memories of ancient happy times

kept locked away to make the empty time tick by faster

alone in this foreign shore

not caring if I reach the other

for everything that was important was on this one

Time to assess where I'm at. I have another training day at my new job (as of March 1st) tomorrow, when I get to assemble an e-blast to all 2500 clients. I spent today compiling higher res images, getting pricing on items we're including in the mailing, and learning that I should ask for special pricing for eblasts from reps that we've worked with before in some cases. I got to hold a pantone matching book, which will be well used in upcoming jobs. Exciting work.

I do miss my large wacom tablet. It was wonderful working in a larger space, now I have this mini graphire 4x5, which I've had before, but it's a matter of learning that the pad is much smaller.

Friday I temp at the same company I temped at a few weeks ago - they actually asked for me. Its nice to be wanted, even though it's as a receptionist. I'll get to read any one of the books I just picked up this morning at the library. Anyway, I'm glad to have gotten a temp job for a day, I need money as my first real pay day won't be until somewhere around the second week of March. Kinda tough living for a few weeks without a paycheck but thankfully I've always saved money.

Snow, earthquake, and other stuff

I'm leavin' town. Yep. I've had enough. I can't take any more snow and cold. 10" out there, white puffy stuff, and now the sky's opened up and let in the drafty arctic air. I never wanted to live on the arctic tundra, but it's beginning to look like it out there. And then there was an earthquake in the middle of the night - right about the time that if you wake up, you might as well just get up because your alarm's going off. Not that it woke me up, but I imagine all the people out there that had been sleeping well, only to be jerked awake, groggy in bed wondering why they were awake and very confused.

in a mid-western/southern tinged accent:

{{Did the bed move? No, I must have been imagining things- oh crap! it's like 20 minutes until my alarm goes off. I could lie here but then the alarm IS going to go off, and it will probably be that stupid song that they've been playing the last few days at this same time. Nevermind. I'll just get up.}}

That's how the scenario plays in my head. It has to be a guy, because in my brain, they're the only ones that wake up so early to go to work. I feel bad for him, because it does truly suck to wake up early, and then to be woken up even earlier? Well, there are probably very few that actually get up to go to work at that hour, but there has to be a few. Maybe farmers. Bet their cows are up early too then because they've been startled awake like the farmer has. Their keening would then get the attention of the farmer sitting in his bed wondering why he's awake.

The reason I'm leaving town is because I'm the maid of honor at my friend's Valentine's Saturday wedding. Its in California, so I'm excited to be leaving the cold. (Typically this time of year is Vegas time - but we're making an exception since she's my best friend. I tried soo hard to convince her to have it another weekend. Like June. But she wants to get married as soon as possible. I'm pretty sure she's not pregnant...six months of wedding planning is half of the usual time, Anywhoo, back to the earthquake). Likely hood of earthquakes is much higher there, but at least there won't be 10+ inches of snow to deal with, and below zero wind chill. It really looked pretty falling yesterday. Big sparkley white fluffs, like a million fairy dots dancing in the air, glowing under lights by the time I got home. I need to pack today, and get my nails done (yay for Ci Cis, right across from the Music Exchange), and pick up my dress from the tailors.

I'm also getting in a final tanning session tonight. I never have tanned in a salon until a freebie was given to me a summertime ago when I was in Iowa. Nick and his sister were going, so I went along since it was free. Since it was summer I didn't really get why we'd go into a tanning booth but since I'm a deal whore, I couldn't say no. Skip forward two summers and into this winter and I'm actually going to one regularly. Normally, this time of year, I'm a pasty white and also prone to feeling more "blue". But my friend's wedding is in California, I'm the only Midwesterner, and we're all wearing dresses that are pink. Bright pink on pasty white makes for a large pink blob. I'd rather not wear white at a wedding - so my skin needs some help. And I'm going to Mexico shortly after that, I remember getting sun burned so badly that they called me lobster girl at school for a month and it hurt to put clothes on. Sunblock will be necessary, but a little bit of time prepping my skin for the onslaught of sunlight would help. Tanning salon has changed me. I've been cheerful this winter, and my skin is a nice brownish tone. I've also learned to put cocoa butter on it everyday, which I should have been doing in the first place in such cold/dry winter conditions. So it's reminded me, oddly enough, to take better care of myself. I'm not planning on becoming a tanning salon regular, since it's so dangerous, but now I know what to do if the winter weather starts really getting me down.

In packing I've got a LOT of stuff to bring. I'm coordinating decorations at the church (pew bows only) and at the reception (which I get to drag all the bridesmaids to to help me after photos are done). I'm really hoping the vases I bought will hold up to the punishment they're going to go through in my luggage. I'll wrap them good, but Jet Blue - well I've never flown with them so I'm hoping baggage handlers don't abuse my soft luggage too badly. Glue gun, ribbon, beads, scissors - all of it will be floating in there. Along with my dress, shoes, wrap for in the church (ditching it asap), majority of my makeup, and any other craft supplies I'm forgetting.

I also have to pack a different bag with my valentines outfit- We're coming back Sunday night and then going out to dinner that evening here in Chicago. It will be fun. Valentines day is directly followed by Mardi Gras. I love valentines day, and its nice to actually have a valentine. I've always celebrated it one way or another, seeing as for many years I thought I'd be by myself forever for V-day. Sometimes I write letters to my friends thanking them for being so awesome. Or I go out and see a sappy movie on my own. Having a boyfriend has changed the way I celebrate and the way I look at valentines day, and I'm grateful for what I have, like always.

Really cool photo mag

This is from Argentina, lovely b&w photos with poetry and nice layout. First got to it from a link the Coudal Partners posted.

Below Magazine: http://www.belowmag.com.ar/#

my swank condo

I like modern stuff with nice lines, occasional pops of color. I definitely want one of these in my swank condo that I'll get someday. Preferably with a washer/dryer, dishwasher, and non-window box air conditioning. I'm effin' tired of not having those modern conveniences.

One of these awesome lamps:

http://www.core77.com/blog/news/nyigf_2010_faves_electric_fireflys_lighting_designs_15870.asp?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed:+core77/blog+(Core77.com's+design+blog)

work

I love art and creating it, but I do need a source of income. Mine has been an unemployment check of late. But then I got a job. I don't start work until March 1st but I've had training days enough to kick me off unemployment but not enough to make what I did ON unemployment.

I hope to start making money soon.

I'm hiding in my room. First my excuse was to watch all five seasons of lost before the new season started on Tuesday. Now I don't have that excuse. I could start watching the Wire, or battlestar end on end. But I'm feeling like I shouldn't lock myself away. I've always appreciated having a space all to myself, where I can retreat away to. Everyone needs that alone time. For a while it used to be my bath- but the bath here isn't very good and one bathroom amongst 3 girls - well you can't take it up for the time it takes for a bath. I do like to hear their take on the day, but I'm a very alone person. I love being with people, but need to be able to get away from them. I also miss blasting music.

winter blues and sushi pop

Winter has been holding steadily here in Chicago. Sitting on the Blue line I watch when the doors open, feeling the shutter just before the doors pull apart, I brace myself for the icy chill that lurks just outside. Its a cold that penetrates. The people stream in wearing their motley assortments of hats and scarves, yellow and chunky, city black and sleek, the few fair isles thrown in. They're like some lost flock of birds that has given up all hope of going south for the winter and just choose to stay and survive the winter. No one is smiling. In the midst of this sudden rush, the varied scent of colognes, cigarettes, and Styrofoam cup coffee sneak by, enveloped in steamy breath. Patches break to show watery eyes behind fogged eye glasses and frozen breath melts on scarves accompanied by the sounds of shuffling boots, rustling bags, gloves being pulled off, and sniffles, woven amongst the otherwise silent passengers. It almost conceals the piss-and-salted smell of the el, its ancient car just a void of plastic and utilitarian surfaces covered with uncertain stains and graffiti.I hold my purse closer, fairly certain that a bum probably did something gross and unacceptable in the general area of my seat, and I'm also quite certain that I wouldn't want my bag to come in contact with that particular source of the unthinkable. Many things are uncertain, but the el being trashed by homeless is a certainty that makes me unwilling to trust public surfaces.

I wonder about the lady doing her knitting in front of me. Its a chunky heavy type of wool, probably expensive and natural, a thick mustard yellow color. Knit - Knit- P

url -Purl, then purl again on her size 14ish needles. I watch the needles waltz forward and back, transfixed by her even strokes. She's wearing a home-made hat, you can tell because its that same mustard yellow of her current project, and it looks like she's working o

n another hat in a different pattern. I let my mind wander and imagine that she has mustard yellow interspersed in many places in her house, maybe in many parts of her wardrobe, or bookends, vases, and tiny porcelain cups with ducks painted on the side in brush strokes. I wonder if the wool is alpaca or some other fancy creature sourced material. She probably drinks tea, and gardens. There she goes knit-knit-purl-purl, and I realize that the train is going back underground- we're almost downtown. I sigh as I sink into my sound-canceling headphones and podcast, ready to start the day.

There's a Buddha on the Elevator

I went to Sushi Samba for the first time ever, because they were having a tweet up and I was curious what that would be. The first floor is standard restaurant, lovely ambient, if dark

lighting. It feels like you're in some kind of exotic aquarium.

If you get on the elevator with Buddha, to the left of the floor manager, you're transported to a sleek and glassy loft bar with coves and plushy seats, and views of the surrounding highrises. They had a live DJ, screens showing live twitter feeds, and LOTS of people. I

enjoyed watching them since it was too loud to talk or hear them. Not really my scene anyway. I'm more of a quiet dinner place with friends kind of person.

Winter Photos

About all I feel like doing during winter outside is taking photos. It's too cold for me to spend extended amounts of time and energy outside. I also miss the sunlight, but I've learned how to deal with that at least. Anyway, the day I took these, there was an odd warmth in the air, what I would call the "smell" of spring. It was definitely a false sense, as it's only January and we have at least four months of cold unending grey days left before the warm

weather starts stopping by.

The Melted Snowman

Reminder of Summer Days

Leaves and snow crystals

Still tracking

Waking Sleeping Beauty

Waking Sleeping Beauty, the documentary, is coming to the Gene Siskel Film Center on Feb. 3rd, 2010. Don Hahn and Peter Schneider will be in attendance and will be available to discuss the film.

http://s65962.gridserver.com/node/483

Diaspora

Movie Night

I, for the first time, watched a movie called "Sophie's Choice" because I heard so many mentions of it. It's an early 80s movie, and much to intelligent for today's audiences. I can't say that I enjoyed it, as the subject matter is difficult, but I kept watching it, which is the important part.

Meryl Streep does a wonderful job speaking with a Polish accent, and even speaking in Polish in some of the scenes-and she was very young in this film but really hasn't looked like she's changed much over the years. Her character is fragile, broken, angry- she envies the brave- you want to know what has caused her to become this shell of a person. And the movie pieces it together bit by bit - I think that's what kept me watching it.

It was worth it to watch the movie, and I felt a connection to it in an odd way. I'm of Polish decent, I've been to Auschwitz, I learned to speak English and remember the frustration of not remembering how to say something, and I've heard the stories of what the Germans and Russians did, the Polish diaspora. There was an odd juxtaposition of everyday amongst the horrible there. And there were many things in the movie that someways made me want to connect with the characters in the film. Anyway, it will take me a while to fully process how the movie made me feel because my brain is still wrapping around it.

The Status of the Industry

A little bit ago, after putzing around trying to figure out how to get into doing graphic design as a job - well I went to a group meeting. Kinda like AA for designers, where everyone's supposed to show up, tell who they are, network, and hopefully you get some supportive commentary from the elders. Well, at least that's what I thought it was going to be. I was wrong. I felt it was more of a meeting where the elders complained about the internet, the lack of jobs, how the industry has tanked, and how new artists aren't willing to foot the bill to join up in the league. I'm hoping the next meeting isn't so disparaging, but this time I'll be prepared to hear all the complaining.

Image source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/workerman/4285870664/

I came across this flickr picture on notcot.org

Late Night Rambling

Illustration by Kristine Borcz

I'm watching Conan O'Brien interview Martin Scorsese at the moment, and I feel I need to address a current topic. I'm definitely on the side of Conan keeping the Tonight Show - or getting something better to go against it on a different network. Conan got me through college - he was on when I'd get home at night from work and school and made me laugh.

Alice in Wonderland, Tim Burton Style

I'm half looking forward to this movie, half terrified that it's just going to scare me and populate my nightmares. I forsee that many things will be influenced by the style in this film. Mr. Burton has quite an interesting view and it seems to inspire many. Personally, when I was a kid, I never understood why Alice wanted to leave Wonderland and come back to boring day-to-day life. I do enjoy that Burton is going to bring a grown-up Alice back to Wonderland.

The new Alice in Wonderland by Tim Burton has a website now. Find it here ALICE

Making Something Not Cool Everyday

Illustration by Will Bryant

I'm always looking for new inspirations - through one of my RSS feeds I came across this cool flickr set by Mr Fancy Pants Bryant. According to his profile, Mr. Fancy Pants creates something every day because he gets sad if he doesn't. Sadly I've lost which blog it was that I originally found this through, but this is a direct link to the set in question so I guess it doesn't much matter. I like that there's a new one each day. MSNCE flickr set

And just to point it out, Mr. Fancy Pants has an Etsy shop here

First Post

Blog Prospectus:

My name is Kristine, I'm an artist, designer, and an avid reader of the internet. I went to film school, art school, learned animation, and live in the Midwest. I've been unemployed for a few months now and consequentially have had a lot of time to surf the net reading articles. Between searching for jobs, and somehow trying not to let my desire to create art be dulled by the lagging economy and lack of interest from others to pay me a wage that isn't going to cause me stress - well it's been a tough six months of searching.

I've created this blog to keep myself on track with my goals list this year. I decided that the first thing I can do is to no longer keep posting articles and notes in places like my Facebook randomly throughout the day. Being called "Facebook" by people is not an endearing nickname, more of an testament to the fact that I should spend less time there.

I have always had an interest in writing and reading and I do a lot of it. I find there is just so much to sift through before you find the jems that really inspire a reader or viewer. Also, as an artist, I find inspiration from many sources and with this blog, I will have a way to find them again and use them for further growth of my ideas. I will post links to images, artists, crafts, designs, and articles that I find interesting. Sometimes I may post photos I've taken or things I found during the day. I don't really expect anyone to read this, but I think putting it out there may be helpful to the artists and articles I do link to.

Goals List

My goals for this year:

1. Find a fulfilling job that pays well

2. Get an illustration published in in a book or magazine

3. Learn to use Flash and AE better, html/action script, maybe even some C++

4. Continue playing my guitar, get a better at bar chords

5. Make more art and do it consistently

6. Exercise and eat right

7. Really push my freelance career off the ground

8. Become involved with local branches of arts organizations such as the Society of Children's Book Writers & Illustrators, Adobe Users Group, and Graphic Designers Guild

9. Go to a conference or two and network with others in my field

10. Keep all aspects of my life in balance

11. Animate something and share it