Catch-22

So what would we call it, if Catch-22 was never written? I don't really recall, thinking about it for ten minutes, what exactly Catch-22 was about. I'm kinda stuck in a few of them at the moment, as if you could square a Catch-22.

I got my insurance card today. Plain and white, no cowgirl decoration or hot pink and yellow color scheme (Thanks Illinois for driving my healthcare provider away.) So not only did I get a plain-jane white card today, its so cheaply made that the member services phone number was printed incorrectly on it. It's quite odd that it's not written anywhere else on the card, probably to force me to call the only other number on the line for customers - the mental health/substance abuse coverage line! Oh wait, couple of lines later, in the legalese of the back of the card it mentions to call 911 in an emergency. Who lists a mental health/substance abuse number so close to the emergency number? I'd like to think it's some twisted little copywriter, who writes novels in his spare time, and is waiting for his break, but in the mean time he wreaks havoc on the phone lines with junkies and mental patients calling the wrong numbers.

Frustration mounts when I try to create a registration online, and after several tries and using different browsers, I break down and call the hotline. I'm on hold for a while, but it's something I'm used to because of the work I do. I speak to a representative who walks me through the new registration process - and who finds out he can't help. Apparently there's a one-digit typo on my zip code...it should be an 8 and its a 6. Unfortunately, he can't help me personally with this, I have to talk to member services. He gives me the number and transfers me. Approximately 2 rings in, I get yelled at by a robot.

I hate robot telephone servos. (I'm sure if the guy who wrote the Jetsons actually got suck on hold with one of these, Rosie would have been a very different house robot. Heck the whole Jetson's future would be different.) Anyway, after a few minutes of vocalized frustration and periods of exacting pronunciation, the robot says one of my choices is "speak to a representative". My hope goes up (don't know why I always have hope but I do), and the new voice tells me (also a robot) that the member services department is now closed. And they give me the daytime office hours, thank you call again!! Le sigh.

It feels good to vent online.

But I still don't have access to my heath insurance stuff, like setting up billing. great. And inevitably, I will have to go through all those calls again. I think my main frustration is the wasted time and having to sit on the phone, on hold, and then holding again and not even getting the courtesy of human service.

All over one typo.