late night ramblings

I'm Back from a day trip to Milwaukee where I salsa danced with a young Edwardo, chatted up his father Gerardo or "jerry", who served as the bartender for the evening, and learned what a modified paloma is. The mom served the peking duck and danced and laughed with me much of the evening. I apparently look nice, have a nice voice, and a nice smile. Guess I'm all over nice. Sometimes we nice girls get sick of being called "nice". The dj called me a tiger when I was learning to salsa from the 10 year-old Edwardo, the only person in the room that was available to dance with other than the priest. I joined in on the garter toss with the guys since most of the attendees were elderly or uninterested in participating. It was a quirky wedding for a perfect for each-other couple, and my friend didn't mind. We were surrounded by lanterns and wearing clothes from China-town and celebrating my friend's renewal of wedding vows. My friend's have been married for a week. Can't say the day hasn't been interesting, though it felt like being tossed into a melting pot of cultures and I was part of the show.

Renewal of vows- This kind of celebration is usually held around 25 or 50 years of marriage, isn't it? And then I thought, wow. I've only been alive for that long, pretty much, and I can't imagine re-living my life again. That's a lot of living and things to keep track of.

I'm leaving for Mexico, warm and sunny, where I plan to imbibe alcohol everyday and do nothing much except enjoy the sand and ocean. I've secretly always wanted to have a cabana boy bring me drinks while i do nothing. Doing nothing is really hard for me. I may be persuaded to swim with dolphins, or be flung through the jungle on a zipline, maybe snorkel. Being environmentally and socially conscious I'm a bit wary of making dolphins drag me around a pool or disturb the jungle as I fly by at whatever speed you zipline in the treetops. But there's a part of me that really just wants to hug the wet-rubber like surface and squeel with joy when for a moment I'll feel a fraction like a mermaid catching a ride on the back of her dolphin friend.

the exotic

My red orchid bloomed while I was in California. I love how bright the colors are!

I watched a documentary this morning while eating my breakfast - it's called Food Inc. Lovely documentary, I would recommend it. It also got me to a site called Open Congress AND Take Part, which I'll look into more when i have time. Oddly enough, Walmart is now helping small farmers - which is great. Check out this article: http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/201003/walmart-local-produce

I've also recently, through twitter, become a reader of Roger Ebert's column. Being a Chicagoan and consistenly running into Ebert I probably should have started reading him earlier, originally thinking he's ONLY a movie reviewer. But I only started reading him since I clicked his twitter link. He posts on twitter frequently, and is a great writer. There's an excellent article about him in Esquire that you should look up. Most people are familiar with him and his movie reviews. I think his articles, which don't necessarily talk of movies, are much more interesting. He's a true journalist! http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/2010/01/making_out_is_its_own_reward.html

Off to my friend's wedding party in Milwaukee now. Wedding: Redux I'm calling it. I get to wear oriental clothing to "surprise" everyone else because my friend kinda conned me into it. Oh well!

sometimes

Sometimes I'm glad the internet didn't exist before

Otherwise i might never have met you

Or most of my friends

And other friends wouldn't have met their you's

Kept in my shell I would worry about the paperwork

the evidence would have brought down a forest

There would have been stacks of paper notes tied in ribbons and perfumed with curley-cue script and poetry verses and proclamations, pressed flowers, sketches

mortifying piles of frilliness and girlyness that I wouldn't have dared to send you,

kept in a secret box as memories of my youth, flippant girlish hopes of romance burned by

trained belief that tis' better to have spent time in study and productiveness

hope was for the other girls, not me

It took One to break down years

of prohibitions and strictures set by them and self

broken in a glance

took a weekend chance

and then We were

What's boredom to filling it in with busyiness for the sake of doing something?

Pining away one pandora song, twitter post, and facebook update at a time

trying to seem less lost in my unexpected circumstance and pretended contentment with acquired time to myself

But now that I've had so many busy friday nights

being without the Other for one makes the time tick by slower than it used to

who is this girl?

hanging on each text message and phone call

this is life's breath to my happyness

Weakened and strengthened

Changed in the fire of love

in plural terms on paths never imagined or dared to be dreamt

and hopeful yet secret for fear of curse

I will not utter or attempt to cross hope with fate

the dark cloud of possibility is a burden

that I will carry until futures unfold and are woven into the fabric of history

maybe I'll laugh when I look back from where I'll be

or memories may be piqued with a sour sweetness

picked apart, sucked dry

as I lay down my tired head at last, old and grey

clinging to memories of ancient happy times

kept locked away to make the empty time tick by faster

alone in this foreign shore

not caring if I reach the other

for everything that was important was on this one

Time to assess where I'm at. I have another training day at my new job (as of March 1st) tomorrow, when I get to assemble an e-blast to all 2500 clients. I spent today compiling higher res images, getting pricing on items we're including in the mailing, and learning that I should ask for special pricing for eblasts from reps that we've worked with before in some cases. I got to hold a pantone matching book, which will be well used in upcoming jobs. Exciting work.

I do miss my large wacom tablet. It was wonderful working in a larger space, now I have this mini graphire 4x5, which I've had before, but it's a matter of learning that the pad is much smaller.

Friday I temp at the same company I temped at a few weeks ago - they actually asked for me. Its nice to be wanted, even though it's as a receptionist. I'll get to read any one of the books I just picked up this morning at the library. Anyway, I'm glad to have gotten a temp job for a day, I need money as my first real pay day won't be until somewhere around the second week of March. Kinda tough living for a few weeks without a paycheck but thankfully I've always saved money.

Snow, earthquake, and other stuff

I'm leavin' town. Yep. I've had enough. I can't take any more snow and cold. 10" out there, white puffy stuff, and now the sky's opened up and let in the drafty arctic air. I never wanted to live on the arctic tundra, but it's beginning to look like it out there. And then there was an earthquake in the middle of the night - right about the time that if you wake up, you might as well just get up because your alarm's going off. Not that it woke me up, but I imagine all the people out there that had been sleeping well, only to be jerked awake, groggy in bed wondering why they were awake and very confused.

in a mid-western/southern tinged accent:

{{Did the bed move? No, I must have been imagining things- oh crap! it's like 20 minutes until my alarm goes off. I could lie here but then the alarm IS going to go off, and it will probably be that stupid song that they've been playing the last few days at this same time. Nevermind. I'll just get up.}}

That's how the scenario plays in my head. It has to be a guy, because in my brain, they're the only ones that wake up so early to go to work. I feel bad for him, because it does truly suck to wake up early, and then to be woken up even earlier? Well, there are probably very few that actually get up to go to work at that hour, but there has to be a few. Maybe farmers. Bet their cows are up early too then because they've been startled awake like the farmer has. Their keening would then get the attention of the farmer sitting in his bed wondering why he's awake.

The reason I'm leaving town is because I'm the maid of honor at my friend's Valentine's Saturday wedding. Its in California, so I'm excited to be leaving the cold. (Typically this time of year is Vegas time - but we're making an exception since she's my best friend. I tried soo hard to convince her to have it another weekend. Like June. But she wants to get married as soon as possible. I'm pretty sure she's not pregnant...six months of wedding planning is half of the usual time, Anywhoo, back to the earthquake). Likely hood of earthquakes is much higher there, but at least there won't be 10+ inches of snow to deal with, and below zero wind chill. It really looked pretty falling yesterday. Big sparkley white fluffs, like a million fairy dots dancing in the air, glowing under lights by the time I got home. I need to pack today, and get my nails done (yay for Ci Cis, right across from the Music Exchange), and pick up my dress from the tailors.

I'm also getting in a final tanning session tonight. I never have tanned in a salon until a freebie was given to me a summertime ago when I was in Iowa. Nick and his sister were going, so I went along since it was free. Since it was summer I didn't really get why we'd go into a tanning booth but since I'm a deal whore, I couldn't say no. Skip forward two summers and into this winter and I'm actually going to one regularly. Normally, this time of year, I'm a pasty white and also prone to feeling more "blue". But my friend's wedding is in California, I'm the only Midwesterner, and we're all wearing dresses that are pink. Bright pink on pasty white makes for a large pink blob. I'd rather not wear white at a wedding - so my skin needs some help. And I'm going to Mexico shortly after that, I remember getting sun burned so badly that they called me lobster girl at school for a month and it hurt to put clothes on. Sunblock will be necessary, but a little bit of time prepping my skin for the onslaught of sunlight would help. Tanning salon has changed me. I've been cheerful this winter, and my skin is a nice brownish tone. I've also learned to put cocoa butter on it everyday, which I should have been doing in the first place in such cold/dry winter conditions. So it's reminded me, oddly enough, to take better care of myself. I'm not planning on becoming a tanning salon regular, since it's so dangerous, but now I know what to do if the winter weather starts really getting me down.

In packing I've got a LOT of stuff to bring. I'm coordinating decorations at the church (pew bows only) and at the reception (which I get to drag all the bridesmaids to to help me after photos are done). I'm really hoping the vases I bought will hold up to the punishment they're going to go through in my luggage. I'll wrap them good, but Jet Blue - well I've never flown with them so I'm hoping baggage handlers don't abuse my soft luggage too badly. Glue gun, ribbon, beads, scissors - all of it will be floating in there. Along with my dress, shoes, wrap for in the church (ditching it asap), majority of my makeup, and any other craft supplies I'm forgetting.

I also have to pack a different bag with my valentines outfit- We're coming back Sunday night and then going out to dinner that evening here in Chicago. It will be fun. Valentines day is directly followed by Mardi Gras. I love valentines day, and its nice to actually have a valentine. I've always celebrated it one way or another, seeing as for many years I thought I'd be by myself forever for V-day. Sometimes I write letters to my friends thanking them for being so awesome. Or I go out and see a sappy movie on my own. Having a boyfriend has changed the way I celebrate and the way I look at valentines day, and I'm grateful for what I have, like always.

Really cool photo mag

This is from Argentina, lovely b&w photos with poetry and nice layout. First got to it from a link the Coudal Partners posted.

Below Magazine: http://www.belowmag.com.ar/#

my swank condo

I like modern stuff with nice lines, occasional pops of color. I definitely want one of these in my swank condo that I'll get someday. Preferably with a washer/dryer, dishwasher, and non-window box air conditioning. I'm effin' tired of not having those modern conveniences.

One of these awesome lamps:

http://www.core77.com/blog/news/nyigf_2010_faves_electric_fireflys_lighting_designs_15870.asp?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed:+core77/blog+(Core77.com's+design+blog)

work

I love art and creating it, but I do need a source of income. Mine has been an unemployment check of late. But then I got a job. I don't start work until March 1st but I've had training days enough to kick me off unemployment but not enough to make what I did ON unemployment.

I hope to start making money soon.

I'm hiding in my room. First my excuse was to watch all five seasons of lost before the new season started on Tuesday. Now I don't have that excuse. I could start watching the Wire, or battlestar end on end. But I'm feeling like I shouldn't lock myself away. I've always appreciated having a space all to myself, where I can retreat away to. Everyone needs that alone time. For a while it used to be my bath- but the bath here isn't very good and one bathroom amongst 3 girls - well you can't take it up for the time it takes for a bath. I do like to hear their take on the day, but I'm a very alone person. I love being with people, but need to be able to get away from them. I also miss blasting music.