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balance

Been trying to balance the days. Things are moving and changing.

workouts and cooking and scuba

I've been on a diet for a week, first time EVER thanks to p90x. It's not so bad, like the hardest workout for me is the yoga, but the hardest thing for me is cooking food that fits my tastes. Today I made a creamy pepper soup, beet soup, and poached some chicken for tomorrow. Tonight's dinner though I'm excited about. It's ground turkey with chopped mushrooms and shallots, and that's going on a sadly small portion of noodles, with a small scoop of cheese mixed in. The biggest thing I miss is FRUIT. I only get one serving. I was never a big veggie person, but now I'm eating 4 of those a day. That's hard to do! anywho.

I had the in-pool version of my scuba certification. I have to learn to breath deeper, I had a hard time on the buoyancy portion of the test because I couldn't take in a deep enough breath to lift myself up in the water. Then I did it but after 10 minutes of concentrating on breathing in and out at an even pace. I've never thought about how I breathe, except when singing. Apparently I'm a shallow breather when I'm not thinking. Or I hold my breath which is a scuba no-no.

I'll get it down before my open water!

scarf

Finished my first crocheted wool scarf today. It took a while to make, I'm assuming because it's my first and because I apparently did a rib stitch. Not sure what I'll make next.

Kinda feeling lonely tonight. Funny how even tho I have roommates I'm feeling alone. We have some stuff in common, but there's some kind of communication disconnect between us. Or maybe the loneliness, maybe it has to do with being by myself all day at work, having little contact with the outside world except through the internet or running errands, trading off mundane comments between the other building tenants or the clerk at the takeout counter. I feel so disconnected with people today - like watching them being alive vs. being a part of the crowd and part of life. I also feel like whatever I've done today isn't productive in any way. I'm missing the 'fulfilling' part of life. That's why I did the scarf, so I would feel I did something productive. The thing about creating is that it's also futile. The creation of something instantly makes it dated. By finishing it, the creation begins its life and is in danger of wear/loss/being thrown away. I think I've struggled with this for a while - what becomes of all the stuff I create? It's important to me but even if I spend hours making it - someday there will be an end to it. And what if nobody likes it?

Quote I came across today

May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art -- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.

via this post

New Year 2011

I finally finished a project I've been working on for a while. It's not the prettiest thing, but I'm proud that I stuck through with it and finished it. I present the knitted 'wave' blanket - of which I found a pattern on some online blog for, memorized and then proceeded to knit for over a year. I took the summer off, since it's so deathly hot in my apartment. So maybe it was more than a year, but it's done.

I'm looking forward to 2011. I'm at a better point than I was last year at this time. I didn't reach all my goals from last year, but this year I intend to take them in smaller chunks which should help.

new year

Soo

2010 is almost at a close.

Things to do next year:

draw more

write more

make more money, seriously, I'm tired of scraping by

Learn a song for memory on my guitar.

animate something awesome. maybe learn to make a game in flash. maybe. Kinda miss animation though it takes a lot of time and pain

Things I'm looking forward to

Trip to Hawaii and seeing my friend Dosh's wedding

Getting scuba certified. It will be done

spend more time with friends in the real world.

Go to Poland to a. visit my granduncle's grave so I can say my final goodbye. and b. visit my cousin and the new baby.

Big goal:

Get an illustration published.